34-year-old lets sister move in for 'a few weeks,' it turns to 4 months and sister melts down suggested to find another place

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Aug 20, 2026 9:00 PM EDT

Would you let your sibling live with you indefinitely? 

It's not always easy to live with family. Especially after you're already out of childhood, and you're used to living independently. You're probably used to a certain amount of autonomy and privacy, which is sometimes harder to come by when you're living with someone else. You're probably happy to do a favor for a family member who needs it, but your generosity does not extend infinitely. If someone is impinging on your space, then it's going to get old after a while, no matter who they are. And it's harder to help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. Sometimes you end up in a bad spot, but after a while you should realize it's on you to pick up the pieces. The sister in this story wasn't quite willing to do that, and her family was at their wit's end. 

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  • A stressed-out woman stands with her hand on her head
    via Curated Lifestyle For Unsplash+

    Not actual story subjects.

    A stressed-out woman stands with her hand on her head

  • Am I in the wrong for telling my sister she can't move in "for a few weeks" because it's been four months?

    My sister (34F) went through a rough divorce back in April and asked to stay with me and my husband "just until I find a place." We said yes. It's been four months now.
    via ZuesIsFckEveryThing
  • She hasn't looked at a single apartment listing that I know of. She works from my guest room, uses my kitchen like it's hers, and last week she rearranged my pantry because "it made more sense that way." I didn't say anything at the time.
    via ZuesIsFckEveryThing
  • Last night me and my husband finally sat down and looked at our finances, we've been covering extra groceries, higher utilities, and honestly just the privacy of our own home for months without ever actually agreeing on a timeline. I brought it up to her gently, said something like "hey have you thought more about your own place, we love having you here just want to make sure your not stuck here longer than you want to be."
    via ZuesIsFckEveryThing
  • She started crying and said she thought I understood what she was going through, that she assumed family didn't put timelines on stuff like this, and that she felt like I was kicking her out during "the hardest year of her life."
    via ZuesIsFckEveryThing
  • Now my mom is calling me saying I should be more patient, that she's my sister and this is what family does. My husband thinks I waited too long to bring up both things and that it's on me, not her.
    via ZuesIsFckEveryThing

  • When you're going through a rough period in your life, you probably want to lean on your loved ones. After all, you'd do the same for them if they hit a rocky path. You don't want to exhaust your good graces, though. You have to realize when you're being a burden and when you should free your family from the responsibility of your care. Sometimes you need a good shakeup to realize this is happening, though. That's the point that this family was reaching after one of them was beginning to exceed her generosity limit. 
     

  • I still feel bad but I also feel like I can't live in my own home or even my own bank account without asking permission anymore lol
    via ZuesIsFckEveryThing
  • Two sisters have a difficult conversation over coffee in a kitchen
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    Model portrayal.

    Two sisters have a difficult conversation over coffee in a kitchen

  • Commenters gave sympathy and suggestions on what to do.

    Suspicious_Juice717 NTA If your mom feels that way I guess she's volunteering to take her in.
    via ZuesIsFckEveryThing
  • AndyWith-A-Y Your mom just volunteered to take her in. Help her pack her things and tell her you'll see her at Thanksgiving or Christmas. NTA
    via ZuesIsFckEveryThing
  • Substantial_Rub_209 NTA. Tell your mom she can move in with her then
    via ZuesIsFckEveryThing
  • SuperJay182 NTA I do kinda agree with the husband, you've let her get away with it for 4 months before raising it, it could have created blurred lines. I would suggest to your mum that's she volunteered though...family helps family right?!
    via ZuesIsFckEveryThing
  • Comfortable_Poem_841 Honestly, screw her, screw your mother and, in particular, screw your husband for putting the blame on you. She's told you that she expects to stay with you for at least a year. Get her the f out of your house and scold the h lout of those who disagree.
    via ZuesIsFckEveryThing
  • DenizenKay NTA. Your mom can take her in - it's what family does You have a marriage, a marriage where your husband is beginning to resent your sisters presence in your marital home. It is awful what your sister is going through - divorce is hard and you dont want to damage your marriage any more than it already is.
    via ZuesIsFckEveryThing
  • You love your sister, clearly, but she needs to stop being selfish - if she's had 4 months to save, she can afford her own place. it's time for her to start living again, and the first step to doing that is getting out of your house.
    via ZuesIsFckEveryThing

  • Family is family, and when you're in a committed relationship, the other person's family becomes yours too. This may become difficult if their family has bigger needs than yours, but it's something that you have to navigate together. The partnership in this story was definitely being tested, and they had to come together to make a decision about how to move forward. It's not easy to compromise, but someone has to do it. Keep scrolling to read the full story and let us know your thoughts in the comments. 

  • Blushiba Since she is working (out of your guset room), can she at least contribute to the expenses? Damnnn people take advantage!!! And mom could also step in... I agree with the poster who says it looks like mom volunteered to take her in...
    via ZuesIsFckEveryThing
  • catskilkid NTA You really did wit to long to put a plan in place, but it is clear that "until I find a place" was never a request for a limited time but rather making you her safety
    via ZuesIsFckEveryThing
  • cushion that now she feels she is being chased from. That being said, you helped her and there is NOTHING wrong putting a plan in place. She clearly has turned a stay into an imposition. Your mother's comments DO NOT COUNT in that she has not offered
    via ZuesIsFckEveryThing
  • to take her OWN DAUGHTER in then or now. You have provided support and she now needs to start getting her life together and MAKING A PLAN with a TIMELINE is not unreasonable.
    via ZuesIsFckEveryThing
  • snack-on NTA. Also, what do you mean by "even my own bank account without asking permission anymore" She has her own source of income, so how is she taking yours?
    via ZuesIsFckEveryThing
  • Negative-Bread6635 NTA She needs to leave. You were lovely enough to deal with her staying for 4 months. Of course there's a timeline on situations like these. If your mother thinks your sister needs more patience: good news to your sister, your mother kind of volunteered to take her in.
    via ZuesIsFckEveryThing
  • Sweet-FFF NTA. "Family doesn't put timelines on this" is what people say when they don't want the timeline. Give her a real end date and offer to help her apartment hunt, that's still family, just with a deadline.
    via ZuesIsFckEveryThing
  • Sufficient_Song3387 No. It's time for her to go. Her crying is just manipulation through guilt. Mom gets no say. Tell her to take her in or send you money for your added expenses. Your husband is right. She should have been
    via ZuesIsFckEveryThing
  • out after 1 month plus she should have been paying utilities and for her own food. I would give her an itemized bill. She is taking advantage of you. Stop letting her.
    via ZuesIsFckEveryThing

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sisters sister in law sister family drama moving in moving in together divorce family
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